The one thing I do when life is like walking on glass shards

I’ll put it this way for you. I lost everything, including my mind.

After a life of accomplishments, I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing.

I feel like every day is the last day of my life.

My past feels like a bear trap.

Yet somehow, I lead a life of hope and growth. Most mornings, I try to get up early, meditate, learn, walk the dog, practice tai chi. I look around my life and feel gratitude for the gifts they have given me and the relationship I’m in.

I have days when my creativity pours out of me, new songs, new essays, new stories, videos, ideas, entrepreneurial energy.

Then there are those other days when I sit drained, motionless, hopeless, overwhelmed, with no energy, and a feeling that begins in my gut and overwhelms me in a deep depression.

Anyone who thinks depression is not a real, tangible thing, has never experienced the teeth depression can have. I used to be one of those people. I’ll be blunt. I thought depressed people were selfish people, people who just needed to get things together, stop wallowing, get on with it. I felt that all the way until I fought off deep, deflating bouts of depression, days where I could barely put one…